i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
