Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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