So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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