Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
