The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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