Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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