I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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