remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
