TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
