O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
