You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
