its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
