a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
