Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
