She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
