Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
