I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize