I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
