Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
