I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
