Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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