I heard we made out
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
