Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
