I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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