I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
