so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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