You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
