Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He did a backflip because drugs
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
