oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
