I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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