Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Houston, we have a blender
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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