yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
