Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
