I wish I could teleport
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
