she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
