dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
