white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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