I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
