birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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