You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
