Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
