me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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