I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
