And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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