im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
