my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
