after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
