Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize