Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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