I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
