It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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