I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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