Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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