we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
