We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
