How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
