she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize