Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
