Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
