cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
