Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
