that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
