Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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