my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
