The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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