Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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