When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
