well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
