oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Randomize
