Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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