I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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